Monday, December 29, 2008

Love on a Tennis Court

It wasn't long ago when I first set foot and fell in love. It was a long affair that I had, and am in fact still having, but I do not wish to give it such a pinching name, for what I feel for him is only the truest and purest of love that one can feel. For a long time he kept me waiting for an answer, and in the middle I had almost given up hope, but finally he told me how he felt. It felt like a reawakening from the dead to me, it gave me so much joy to hear him say it. Yes, indeed my love for tennis is paying off...

When first my father tried to teach me how to play, I was too young to feel the passion for the sport, that I now feel for it. At that point of time I hardly played sports, and in fact was too lazy to take notice of them. I just assumed I was no good at sports, and went on with living my life. Later that year we started exercising, running, and playing sports on a daily basis, and I realized that I had more of a knack for it than I thought. Still I never could give tennis a chance as it wasn't taught to us in school, it requiring too many courts for the number of students in a class.

It was only in my second year of college that I could give the sport another chance. One of my good friends was getting some tennis rackets with his friends, so he decided to introduced me to this sport. Right from the first time I tried it, I fell in love. I enjoyed it more than playing basketball, and my friend and I often discussed how it was one of the most amazing sports we ever tried out. Sadly I was a slow learner, and to make matters worse I got an injury (not from tennis) because of which I had to stop playing. In the meanwhile my friend got better at it, and when I was well enough to play again, I was too far behind.

I finally decided to give up this sport I loved so much, only because I had no one to play with. The enthusiasm that my friends had about it slowly died out too. I did try to pester my friend to play again, but too much related to studies and placements were going on in our lives to really take out the time to play again. I really missed playing.

After placements, we did start playing again, and I did improve over the weeks we played. I didn't make as much progress as the other guys made, even though some of them were newer to the sport than I was. I was in that phase where I had to play for a good 20 to 25 minutes before I'd start playing properly, to get used to the racket, to get used to hitting the ball right. Sometimes that got me down, because I wanted to really learn how to play decent tennis, at least enough to play with guys.

Then it happened, the day that changed my life, well at least that part pertaining to tennis. In our annual sports fest, I had to play tennis singles and mixed doubles. I did dread the matches, considering the fact that I wasn't nearly good enough to play a competitive game. The first match I played was a mixed doubles match, in which I played so poorly that the girl on the other side started making fun of me (though she hadn't played any tennis previously, and was at least twenty times worse). The reason for my poor show was the fact that upto that point of time I needed to practice for at least fifteen to twenty minutes before I got a hang of the racket and got into the real mood to play. That day I happen to have just woken up and my partner refused to practice, being much too sleepy himself. Lucky for us, we won that match.

Later I practiced with the wall while waiting for my single's opponent to show up. Thus I got a hang of the racket, and by the time she came, I was playing much better. Now my opponent was real good, so I didn't beat her, but in that game I learned how to serve properly, and learned how to hit my shots better. This wasn't like the ususal learning I did in all my previous attempts at learning how to play, for this time it stuck. The next doubles match, I played much better, my serves went in, and I hardly missed a shot, but sadly our opponent was too good to beat. We did have a very close match though, which went onto seven games. So at least at the end of it I was satisfied with the turnout. We did win a silver medal for mixed doubles tennis. Tennis had finally accepted me back.

After that when I went to play tennis with the guys, I didn't need that first twenty minutes to warm up to my racket and get my game right, but it automatically came to me from the first ball I hit. While playing, we'd always play doubles, so on one day, I played four matches one after another (having different partners in each game) and it felt real good because I could hit some pretty good shots.

I still have a lot of scope for improvement, and I will definitely work on this game I've fallen in love with. There are two things I want to learn before I die, one is how to play tennis, and the other is how to play the guitar. At least I'm on my way to achieveing one of my dreams.

Friday, December 5, 2008

I have Committed a Crime

"You have committed a crime." he said, without realizing the hypocrisy in his accusation.

Yes, indeed I have committed a crime, if you consider freedom of thought a crime. You say I have no morality, that someday I'll pay for my sins. Who are you to decide that my beliefs , my actions, are a sin? If I really wanted, I could say the exact same to you, and my arguments would even be more valid than yours, yet still to the world I'll always be wrong. I may not be an average person like everyone around me, no I'm very different, I don't believe in going with the flow, because I know that the flow itself is where the problem lies.

Without doing anything I have become the enemy of the times, I have become that which is given as an example to children to bring fear into their hearts. They say that I am the devil in disguise, out to corrupt the minds of those around me. I am the darkness that makes the night black, the storm that destroys millions of lives, the evil in every heart. What have I done? I have done no more than to actually think.

Rationality is a gift given to few, a virtue to me, but a vice to most. I am a rational being. Is it a sin to be a rational being? Is it a sin to believe in things only after thinking them through? Is i a sin to depart from the societal norms provided I'm not physically or mentally hurting anyone? Is it really a sin only to have a belief, or in my case an absence of one?

The world is burning, this country is burning, why are we letting it? There is no valid reason for taking someone's life, but war is a massacre of thousands, even millions, and there's no law to protect these people who are burning in it. All this bloodshed for an irrational motive, maybe more than one, but each irrational in it's own way.

Yet still you expect me to believe in what you believe in and sell my principles? You still say that I'm the one at fault? You tell me that I should be ashamed of myself, that you're disappointed in me. I don't want to be a martyr, I don't want to be a saint, I only want to live my life, I want everyone to be able to live their lives because to me life is the greatest gift.

You know what I really am? I am the light that gives out warmth, I am the willpower that drives one to learn, I am the earth that nurtures, I am the water that purifies, I am the love that brings people together, I am the wind that touches every soul with life, I am the rational being. I love to play with fire, but you love to burn the world that gave us fire. I admit I have some faults, but you magnify my virtues into crimes.

Yes I am an Atheist and I don't believe in your God. To me there is no God, but there is something much better - the earth and everything in it. If you cannot handle that, then at least don't try to take it away from me, for I have the courage to handle the truth, and I'm proud of it. I have the capabilities to think, to judge true from false, to not get influenced by your irrational ways. Don't force upon me your beliefs for to me my absence of beliefs is the real virtue.

Religion is an insult to human dignity. With or without it, you'd have good people doing good things and evil people doing bad things, but for good people to do bad things, it takes religion.
~ Steven Weinberg, Nobel Laureate in physics